Keep Calm and Cultivate the 8 C’s…

Welcome back to our exploration of the 8 C’s! Today we are exploring Calmness.

Calmness — n. 1. a physiological and mental serenity regardless of the circumstances 2. the ability to react to triggers in your environment in less automatic and extreme ways 3. to be less vulnerable to adopting the common fight-flight-freeze response when threatened (Taken from Julia Sullivan and The Center For Self Leadership),

Calmness… when I think of being calm I think of the colour blue, a whirring ribbon that settles around you like the ocean. I think of stroking a loved one’s head and hair, sitting with my dog as he falls asleep, my Mum stroking my eyebrows and having a warm coffee whilst sitting down to do some reading. I think of sitting at the top of the vantage point in my mind and watching all the thoughts float past, whilst meditating and being mindful.

What makes you feel calm?

After talking to those around me, and exploring deeper inside, I realised that calmness can have a distinct joining with the senses. Stimulation of the senses can invoke the ‘physiological and mental serenity’ the definition describes, which I think can ultimately lead to one being calmer when reacting to triggers in the external environment. So, I am going to explore the senses one by one.

Touch

Touch has been proven to invoke feelings of calm within people, especially human touch. I think this is interesting in the world we live in at the moment, where our human touch has been limited. I know that I for one have missed having regular human touch (mostly in the form of hugs!) during lockdown, and I remember during the first lockdown the want to hug every single one of my loved ones as hard as I could. I discovered that it is proven that the feeling of pressure (which can be created through a hug!) can help send the body into a restful state by regulating the breathing and heartbeat (check out weighted blankets!), which indicates that the sense of touch can induce tranquillity. The wave of calm from touch is not just from human touch, but can also be from touching something soft. An interesting study found that when in a negative mental state, pleasure and serenity arose from feeling things, instead of just looking at things. I have noticed this in myself too — I know that stroking my dog, or even just a soft blanket, can cause a physiological response of calmness within.

Sound

The use of music to calm down when feeling negative emotions was something many of my friends spoke about when I asked about what makes them feel calm. This links into a mental serenity being created regardless of the circumstances in the external environment. If you listen to upbeat music whilst watching a horror film, it automatically seems less scary. I’m sure if we put on a piece of calming music in a stressful situation, our reactions to triggers in the environment are likely to be much less ‘automatic and extreme’, and we would have a calmer, more rational response. This reminds me of sitting exams. I used to listen to music before each exam, music to help calm the nerves and bring a moment of stillness. This would help me to create a sense of clarity (which we will be discussing next blog post!), which was always helpful for focus. One of the pieces bringing a complete wave of calm which I discovered last year was ‘Weightless’ by Marconi Union, and I highly recommend listening to that fabulous piece of music.

Smell and Taste

I think the link between smell and calmness is obvious in some ways, with certain smells, such as lavender, being proven to calm the nervous system. But, I think smell has another interesting take which is that it can create a sense of comfort and familiarity, which for me, creates a sense of peacefulness. I know when I need to cultivate more calmness I smell something that reminds me of home, or something that is familiar, and it instantly relaxes me. Taste is similar in this way, as some tastes and sensations in the mouth (such as drinking warm herbal tea) can help calm the flight or fight nervous systems. Familiar tastes can also bring a level of comfort. I know smelling and eating a roast dinner on a Sunday that my Dad has prepared gives me a wave of calmness. In moments of sheer panic, the one thing that calms me down is chewing gum, which I have now found out has been proven to reduce anxiety.

Sight

In terms of sight, a common theme that came up often was watching nature and the sight of calming scenes within the natural landscape. I feel the turn to nature to feel calm is an obvious link and I don’t think it needs to be spoken about in much detail here. Using visual aids during meditation and mindful practices (such as focusing on a candle) can also clearly help with instigating a sense of serenity. When I explored sight and calmness, I discovered that I feel calm when looking at the faces of a loved one, or looking at a place I knew well - such as my parents’ home. I think this highlights a connection between calmness and familiarity (which I also saw with smell and taste), with familiar things that conjure pleasant memories within us invoking calm and comfort. I think this is perfectly summed up by Ben Howard in his song ‘Keep Your Head Up’ with the lyrics:

‘And I saw a friend of mine the other day… it felt so good to see his face, all the comfort invested in my soul. Oh to feel the warmth, of his smile…’

I think this comfort eluding from loved ones is an underestimated sense of calm, and I invite you to take the time to look into the faces of your loved ones, and feel the comfort and calm in the familiarity and love.

When discussing themes of calmness and thinking how this related to the senses, a common theme that kept popping up was that of water. The feeling of a hot shower, watching the ocean, the smell of rain, the taste of a cold glass of water, the sound of ocean waves. I found this interesting as water is actually not a very ‘calm’ element when I think about it. It’s moving, it’s forceful, it’s powerful. But somehow, when connecting the water element with our senses, it can bring a wave of calmness. I think the idea of flow can be linked into this idea, as water is a flowing element, and I think the feeling of calm is a flowing feeling, a wave that rushes through your body.

Just like the water element, calmness flows.

I think there is also a link to be made with the fact that the colour blue has often been connected with calmness and of course, the water element is also often associated with the blue colour.

I think the more we seek out to ensure we have moments of calm within our busy, stressful lives, the clearer things within us and around us become. This takes us beautifully into the next C-Word, which is clarity. I urge you to take a moment today to think about what feeling calm means to you, how you can cultivate it, and how you can bring some more of this wonderful C-Word into your everyday life. This post has been my exploration of the word calm, but I would love to hear your thoughts on what it means to you, do get in touch with Mindfulness After Cam if you would like to share.

Click here to join my exploration of the next C-Word… Clarity!

Written by Harriet Simmons, February 2021